Chapter 4

VI. The Problems In Marriage.
A. Your Self.
B. Your Spouse.

C. Your Children.

    1. Putting the children before your spouse.

        a. Genesis 2:18 says, “And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be __________; I will make him an ________ meet for him.”
        b. Genesis 2:21, 22 says, “And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a __________, and brought her unto the man.”

Note:   Many wives are frustrated in their marriages, because their husbands do not spend much time with the children. Sometimes, the root cause is because their husbands have built up resentment inside at them because they give more time and attention and affection to the children than to them.

        c. Titus 2:4 says, “That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their ________________, to love their ________________.”

The woman is to be a wife  first, and a mother  second. If she will remember that

principle, she will find that God also honors her with help from her husband with the

children. But if she neglects her husband, and puts the children before him, she will find

that she is married to a man that is distant, and seems to have little interest in the children.

The reason is because he looks at the children as having taken away his helpmeet.

        d. Genesis 25:28 reveals that Isaac and Rebekah had some marital troubles because they put their children higher than each other, at times, “And __________ loved ________, because he did eat of his venison: but ______________ loved __________.”

Note:   Here is an important point to remember:

 

Just because a marriage was started scripturally, does not mean that it is going

to go perfectly. Marriage requires a day-by-day submission to the will of God.

Isaac and Rebekah’s betrothal was a perfect picture of submission to their

parents, and of guarding their hearts in purity until marriage. But that did

not guarantee a perfectly smooth marriage, because Isaac and Rebekah

showed partiality to their children. We even see deceitful means used

against each other to try and get the advantage with their favored child.

Note:   Some parents have received harsh criticism from their married children whom they have led through Biblical betrothal and marriage (as opposed to worldly dating and marriage).   The children are to be commended for keeping themselves pure and following the Biblical example, but sometimes this puts the false idea into their minds that their marriages are going to be all sweet and no problems.  Just because we obey the Lord, does not mean that our lives are going to be problem-free. Remember Job’s life? He suffered greatly because he was righteous. Remember, Satan will try all the harder to destroy marriages that have come about in the right way, so that he can discourage both parents and young people from even trying to do it the Biblical way.

        e. Job 1:8 says, “And the LORD said unto Satan, Hast thou considered my servant ______, that there is none like him in the earth, a perfect and an ______________ man, one that feareth God, and escheweth evil?”

Note:    Because Job was so righteous, he experienced the hatred of Satan against his wealth, his family, and his health. But remember that, in the end, Job, and his family were greatly blessed.

        f. Job 42:10-15 says, “And the LORD turned the captivity of Job, when he prayed for his friends: also the LORD gave Job __________ as much as he had before. Then came there unto him all his brethren, and all his sisters, and all they that had been of his acquaintance before, and did eat bread with him in his house: and they bemoaned him, and __________________ him over all the evil that the LORD had brought upon him: every man also gave him a piece of money, and every one an earring of gold. So the LORD ______________ the ____________ end of Job more than his beginning: for he had fourteen thousand sheep, and six thousand camels, and a thousand yoke of oxen, and a thousand she asses. He had also __________ sons and __________ daughters. And he called the name of the first, Jemima; and the name of the second, Kezia; and the name of the third, Kerenhappuch. And in all the land were no women found so fair as the daughters of Job: and their father gave them inheritance among their brethren.”

Parents and young people, do not give up doing things the Biblical way, even though

you see some who have, and have experienced great trials. Just remember Job.

VI. The Problems In Marriage.
C. Your Children.
1. Putting the children before your spouse.

    2. Putting the children before God.

        a. 1 Samuel 2:22 says, “Now Eli was very ______, and heard all that his ________ did unto all Israel; and how they lay with the women that assembled at the door of the tabernacle of the congregation.”
        b. Verses 23-25 go on to say, “And he said unto them, ______ do ye such things? for I hear of your ________ dealings by all this people. Nay, my sons; for it is no good ____________ that I hear: ye make the Lord's people to transgress. If one man sin against another, the judge shall judge him: but if a man sin against the LORD, who shall entreat for him? Notwithstanding they hearkened ______ unto the voice of their father, because the LORD would slay them.”

Note:   Eli was the high priest. He had the witnesses to prove what his sons were doing, so it was his responsibility to remove his sons from the priesthood, and judge them for their sin and rebellion.

        c. Deuteronomy 21:18-21 says, “If a man have a stubborn and ____________________ son, which will ______ obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and that, when they have chastened him, will ______ hearken unto them: Then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the elders of his city, and unto the gate of his place; And they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton, and a drunkard. And all the men of his city shall __________ him with stones, that he ______: so shalt thou put evil away from among you; and all Israel shall hear, and fear.”

Note:   This was Eli’s responsibility, but he would not do it.

    d. 1 Samuel 2:29 says, “Wherefore kick ye at my sacrifice and at mine offering, which I have commanded in my habitation; and honourest thy ________ above ____, to make yourselves fat with the chiefest of all the offerings of Israel my people?”

Note:   We find here that Eli found a life of ease and plenty the way that things were, and he did not want to do anything that made his life more difficult (if he had his two sons put to death, then he would have had to do more work himself). So God soundly rebuked him, and pronounced judgment upon his family.

        e. 1 Samuel 2:31-34 says, “Behold, the days come, that I will cut off thine arm, and the arm of thy father's house, that there shall not be an old man in thine house. And thou shalt see an enemy in my habitation, in all the wealth which God shall give Israel: and there shall not be an old man in thine house for ever. And the man of thine, whom I shall not cut off from mine altar, shall be to ______________ thine eyes, and to ____________ thine heart: and all the increase of thine house shall die in the flower of their age. And this shall be a sign unto thee, that shall come upon thy two sons, on Hophni and Phinehas; in ______ day they shall ______ both of them.”

Note:   Both of his sons did die in one day; in fact, he also died that very day.

        f. 1 Samuel 4:16-18 says, “And the man said unto Eli, I am he that came out of the army, and I fled to day out of the army. And he said, What is there done, my son? And the messenger answered and said, Israel is fled before the Philistines, and there hath been also a great slaughter among the people, and thy two ________ also, Hophni and Phinehas, are ________, and the ark of God is taken. And it came to pass, when he made mention of the ark of God, that he fell from off the seat backward by the side of the gate, and his ________ brake, and he ________: for he was an old man, and heavy. And he had judged Israel forty years.”

It is easy for parents to love their children so much, that they put them before God.

They may personally compromise, for the sake of pleasing their children; or they may allow

the children to compromise and sin, so as not to upset them.  That is a tragic mistake. Always put God first.

    g. Matthew 6:33 says, “But seek ye __________ the kingdom of God, and his __________________________; and all these things shall be added unto you.”

VI. The Problems In Marriage.
A. Your Self.
B. Your Spouse.
C. Your Children.

D. Your parents.

    1. Genesis 2:24 says, "Therefore shall a man __________ his father and his mother, and shall ____________ unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh."

Note:   The word cleave means, “to adhere firmly and closely or loyally and unwaveringly” (Merriam-Webster’s 11th Collegiate Dictionary).

When you get married, DO NOT move in with either of your parents. The Bible

commands you to LEAVE your father and mother, and to CLEAVE unto your mate.

    There can only be one head in any home. If the young man and his bride move in with his parents, then they must be in subjection to his father, who is the head of that home. The problem with that is the young man is told to be the head of his own home. His bride married him — not her father-in-law. This will cause much resentment in the bride, and will be the source of martial conflicts for years to come.
    If the newly married couple moves into the home of the bride’s parents, then they will have to submit to the bride’s father, who is to be the head of that home. That, too, will not work, because the groom will not be able to be the head of his own family, as long as he is there.

    2. Ephesians 5:22, 23 says, “Wives, ____________ yourselves unto your ______ husbands, as unto the Lord. For the ______________ is the ________ of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.”

Note:   If a young man cannot afford to obtain a place of his own (through purchasing or renting), then he is not ready to get married. Untold grief has been caused in marriages because a couple has moved in with their parents. There can only be one Scriptural head to any home.

                                     Chapter 1   Chapter 2   Chapter 3   Chapter 4   Chapter 5   Final Test     Liberty Bible Course Directory